Scale

Appears courtesy of If Gravity Happens.

I’m not talking about that awful thing you stand on that determines the type of day you are going to have. Today, I want to talk about a balance scale. The scales that have two sides and when something is placed heavier on one side, the other side is forced off kilter.

After 4 stressful years of college, a new desk job, and already being uncomfortable with my body, I decided enough was enough. I wanted to make myself and my health a priority.

I made my mind up to change. I fell in love with running. When I ran I felt free, in control, strong, powerful, and the confidence came from the miles I was pounding more so than the pounds dropping.

But they continued to drop. I was never taught about nutrition in school and gradually started eating cleaner and healthier. My mileage was increasing but my food intake was staying the same. Unfortunately there is a big difference between eating healthy and not refueling properly.

My goals were all being met; I was hitting the pavement daily and in turn, had lost 43 pounds.

Happy with where I was and proud of myself for the goals I had reached, my husband and I decided to set a new goal. We wanted to start a family. And that was when I realized my health was so far off balance that my body was no longer able to do what it was made to do.

I was soon diagnosed with Hypothalamic Amenorrhea (HA) due to my weight loss and my intense exercising. The only way to have a family would be to find my healthy balance, which meant gaining weight and temporarily not running, or face infertility treatments.
At 24 years old, I had to reevaluate what my goals were in my life. Being healthy was, is, and forever will be a priority to me but that means more than the miles I can run or that number on the tag of my jeans. I also wanted to be a mother more than anything.

After my diagnosis, I found that a lot of other women runners and bloggers also struggle with HA. With some unbelievable support, I am determined to find my balance and accomplish the biggest goal I have set yet.

If Gravity Happens began as an emotional outlet for me during our battle with infertility and as a documentation of my journey towards finding my healthy balance and hopefully helping others out there to find theirs too.

There is a fine line between being healthy and taking it too far. Our bodies are meant to be in balance and that might mean a little more curves or an extra tablespoon or two of peanut butter after your run. It might mean a real rest day of watching movies and cuddling with your furry friend or listening to those screaming knees telling you to take it easy for a little while.

My healthy balance may be different than your healthy balance but the key is to strive to keep that scale in check; both sides weighing equal.

What’s your scale look like? I encourage you to find your healthy balance.